It is heartbreaking and irritating seeing what is going on around us today especially the outrageous attitudes being displayed by parents. Its alarming.
What could be your excuse as a parent that most ill attitudes your child(ren) display are learnt from you? Why can’t you help your child(ren) to atleast be productive and sensible.
Most parents are victims in building their child(ren)’s mental strength . They don’t want to leave their comfort zones inorder to help them fit into the equation and help them beat the odds of obtaining a mental illness at some point in their life.
What does it mean to to be mentally strong?
This involves developing daily habits that build mental muscle, giving up bad habits that hold you back. You don’t have to lack in judgement and good sense. Mentally strong people feel fear and face difficulties but it doesn’t stop them from moving forward or doing what they ought or suppose to do.
Let’s talk about how you can implement this in parenting and help your child(ren) to cope in this mentally challenging world.
Policing or sheltering your child(ren) more won’t fix the problem instead build and equip them to be able to face the world and all of its confusion with you by their side.
ALLOW YOUR CHILD(REN) TO EXPERIENCE HARDSHIP OR FAILURE
You don’t have to always cover up for your child(ren) in other to always make them feel good. You want to give your child(ren) what they need and hates to see them struggle with something but it is not really helping out. Most times parents forget that hardship and failure are part of life. Life is not a bed of roses, so instead of keeping them from everything, allow them to use their skills and ideas to face things out while you are by their side.
MAINTAIN YOUR AUTHORITY AS A PARENT
Give your child(ren an equal vote in important family matters when you want to change or do something. Value their opinions but do not give your child(ren) power over you. It is good to carry on your child(ren) along with decision making at home but let them contribute and not to dictate. You will loose out completely if you allow your child to dictate what happens in the home. Mentally strong parents empower their children to make appropriate choices while maintaining a clear hierarchy.
ASSIGN YOUR CHILD AGE APPROPRIATE DUTIES
Most parents bring in house helpers whereas they have a child who is of the same age with the helper thinking they are doing their child(ren) good. They send the helper almost all the house chores without noticing that they are just preparing and training the helper better off that their own child(ren)
DO NOT HELP YOUR CHILD OUT IN SELF-DOUBT
It is still okay to reassure your child that everything will work out well when they have self negative-talk but you don’t need to make your child dependent on you when countering negative self-talk. Allow them to respond to the self-doubt talk on their own. Resist the urge to bail your child(ren out from a problem instead encourage and guard them on how to “argue the opposite” themselves and develop their own solutions.
ALLOW YOUR CHILD(REN TO FIX NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
Learn not to stand in between your child(ren’s and natural consequences. Allow them to build their mental muscles by simply getting out of the way for them to flex their muscles on their own and deal the aftermath when they don’t succeed because we will not always succeed. Natural consequences can be some of life’s greatest teachers, help them choose solution. Let your child know that it is important to take care of their mind as they take care of their body, bath, brush their teeth and wear good things.
STOP EXPECTING PERFECTION FROM YOUR CHILDREN
High expectations are good towards your children but setting the bar too high can backfire. Help your child aim for big goals but they must be realistic. Let them think realistically.
DO NOT GIVE IN TO YOUR CHILD(REN MISBEHAVIOUR
You don’t have to support your child(ren when the are being punished for doing wrong. Call a spade a spade and stick to your limits. You don’t have to give your child what he/she wants when they misbehave. Most times parents give in by using this normal words “take ! Let me rest” but it will not help issues because you are indirectly telling your child(ren that misbehaving is an effective way to get their needs met.
TEACH YOUR CHILD(REN MORAL SENSE
When you cultivate moral sense in the life of your child(ren you will also have rest of mind as a parent because this is the only force that can prevent your child from using devil as an excuse for indulging in an evil act. Do not forget that your child(ren emulate or copy from you. What kind of life are you living as a parent?
While building mental strength on yourself or children, learn to differentiate being strong from acting tough. The two dosent mean the same thing. Denying pain or refusing to show emotions isn’t strength.
Mental strength involves becoming your best self. It is about having the ability to stay strong, and function well,on the face of doubt, anxiety, uncertainties that are outside of your control.
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